Book Review - The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide

The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide: Essential Skills for Living Well in an Overstimulating World

By Ted Zeff, Ph. D.

Copyright 2004 Published by New Harbinger Publications

Get ready for many suggestions and alternatives to life as usual when you read this book! Liberally sprinkled with real-life examples, you get to see how other HSPs like you have adjusted factors in their lives to suit them.

So many suggestions makes this a valuable book and somewhat overwhelming at the same time. Even with the author's own words encouraging you to take it slow and adopt a few things at a time, it holds the possibility of stopping a HSP in their tracks. You might want to read this one slowly, working on chapters with their suggestions one at a time.

What's very valuable about Zeff's perspective is his no-nonsense look at what really has to happen to be a happy HSP. He deals directly with the inner journey that is so important to reshaping life. He asks you to get clear on your goals, whether living the way you are now is either helping or harming you, how the impact of low self-esteem and not loving yourself affects you and how to constructively look at your beliefs to change your habits. He even gives a healthy six-month time frame to cement a new habit -- the longest I've ever heard quoted.

Valuable topics include:

• Coping with time pressure
• Calming your senses
• Finding agreeable foods
• Sensible exercise (at about 50% of your capacity, which is great for those of us who hate sweating)
• Getting external support while you are changing habits
• Thinking ahead to prepare in advance
• Learning to be more in control and other attitude adjustments
• The importance of routine and pacing your activity
• Nurturing your sensitive soul
• Finding health practitioners and healers

While highly instructive, Zeff's writing 'can be somewhat annoying. He is very repetitive in his points. For example, food choices, television and yoga seem to come up in every chapter. Additionally, his choice of words can appear somewhat judgmental in how he labels society and cultural norms. Still, I find some assurance in this as I know it was written by someone who is highly sensitive.

You may have heard or read some of this advice before cracking the cover of this volume. It is still good reading because perhaps for the first time, you are getting from someone who shares your sensitivity. That slight twist of perspective shows you how to take what the rest of the world does and modify it for your own peace of mind and body. That's a valuable skill to hone!

Then, there are areas included here that you might never have considered as alternatives otherwise, like Ayurveda. Exploring these choices can lead you in new directions and benefit you at the same time.

With each chapter ending with lists that recap the valuable points, you can easily morph this book into a refresher guide that keeps you in tune with your own nature. Read a list each day and you will keep valuable choices on the top of your mind. How much easier could it be to tune up your life?

Sarah Dolliver is the Founder of InnerVantage, the online community for inner-directed individuals (those who focus inward to restore). Her vision is to remove the stigma from being introverted or highly sensitive (HSP) to allow these individuals to lead rewarding lives that bring distinct contributions to the world. She educates, inspires and empowers them to use their gifts, talents and strengths as the basis from which they approach life.

Subscribe to the Awakening Your InnerVantage newsletter or get other free resources at http://www.InnerVantage.com

Sarah holds a Bachelor of Science in Management (Bentley College, Waltham, MA) and is a graduate of Coach U and The Graduate School of Coaching from CoachVille.

Life is a Short Rant

Life is short, don't sell your soul, life, and time for money for too long of a period. Don't let little things get in your way of what you really want to do. Stop making excuses about why you can't do something. If you really want something, change it from a "should" and make it a "must".

Life is to be experience and enjoyed. Life is not meant to be spent doing something you don't want to do your whole life. Plan out your life so that you can soon do what you want, and work because you want to not because you have to, that is, if you even decide to work. Everyone is looking for one thing in life: Happiness. So why is it that most people want to cling to things that make them unhappy? The answer is FEAR. Fear of losing that sense of security, which for most of us, is a false sense of security.

Quit doing what the average person does or you will end up living a life that average people live. Be a kid again and dream big. Don't let the limitations of your income bring your dreams down. Plan your life in a way that will let you experience those dreams. By doing so you will inspire those around you. Don't get caught up in making a living instead of designing your life. Don't be one of those people who wake up one day when they're old and say to themselves "what happened to my life?" Letting the little things in life get in the way of big things in life is foolish.

You're probably thinking one of three things at this point (that is if you've read this far). One is "blah blah blah, easy for this guy to say, he doesn't know me, he doesn't know how complicated and hard my life is". Two: "Eh, I'm cool where I am right now, I might not being living my dreams, but I'm comfortable". Three: "I understand where he's getting at, but even if I wanted to live out my dreams, I wouldn't know where to start".

1. Whatever you're facing or going through, there are millions of people who have it worse than you. Stop complaining about circumstances. Circumstances happen to everyone, it's what you do about it that matters. If you keep complaining, you will only end up living a life worth complaining about.

2. Being in the middle is probably the worse place to be. You're not living the life you want to live but your life is not bad enough for you to do anything about it. This is where most dreams are destroyed and lives are ruined. We get comfortable. We start rationalizing "it's not that bad, I have it better than a lot of the people I know". If you want to be average, keep rationalizing. If you want to live your dreams, be honest with yourself. Don't be like the dog that whines because he's lying on a nail but doesn't do anything about it because it doesn't hurt enough. Jump on that damn nail as hard as you can so that it will wake you up and get you moving towards the life you really want to live.

3. Everything starts with you. For things to change, you must change. As long as you have strong enough reasons why you MUST live the life you dream of, the "how-to" will eventually come to you. That determination and undeniable belief that you WILL live your dreams will soon attract people into your life who can help you get to where you want to be. Start surrounding yourself with people who will encourage you and who can see you for who you can become instead of just who you are today. Negative people are energy drainers, dream stealers, life destroyers and you should get as far away from them as possible. Your life will never far exceed the expectations from your peer group. Want to know how your life will turn out, look at your friends. If you don't like what you see, get new friends.

In closing, life really is short. Tomorrow was never promised. No one ever said you will still be alive 5 years from now, or even 3 months from now. The more time you spend on doing things you don't like, the less time you will have doing the things you enjoy. What ever it is you want to do in life, start today, don't delay, make a plan and start right now!

Kevin Ngo is the creator of motivational-well-being.com - a motivational resource website that provides free tools to help people stay motivated long enough to create successful habits in order to obtain their goals. Ready to get back on track? You're one click away.

http://www.motivational-well-being.com

The Solar Wind Blowing through Your Consciousness

If you follow Space Weather (on the Internet), you may be aware of the solar winds caused by active sunspots facing towards Earth. On Space Weather they mention how these may cause auroras in the night sky, but do not mention what affects these winds have on Human Consciousness.

Last night in bed, I noticed myself bathing in a stream of very high-vibration energy and remembered that Space Weather had predicted auroras. Subjectively, I feel I was noticing this strong magnetic energy coming direct from the Sun.

The energy seemed very pure and clean; the frequency was off the scale of my normal range of experiences with energy I felt I was being downloaded with information. At present, I do not have the awareness to interpret this subtle Energy at these exceptionally high frequencies.

The flow of energy was so strong it woke me up; I lay there just feeling the energy, being aware of its nature and looking for the information it contained.

I raised my own vibration through Meditation, to see if I could match the Energy flow a bit like a radio tuner searching the frequency bands to tune in to the signals contained within the light of electromagnetic radiation.

As I raised my vibration, I could feel the Angelic presence of a pure light. It reminded me of the Kabbalah and the Tree of Life. The Kabbalah refers to the planets of our solar system as the Archangels, all radiating their influence down on Earth and touching each individual's life.

Astrology aims to interpret these subtle energies and their influence and to use crystals to adjust the power of each heavenly body in our lives. By adjusting the various influences it aims to change one's destiny or path in life.

The power last night was such that I feel this was more to do with the Ascension process and the moving of Human Consciousness into the New Earth.

As more people awake to the raising of consciousness and breathe their awareness into these more subtle levels of their being, we are seeing the Quantum Field, which underlies our nature, awaking and becoming aware of its own nature: it forms the junction point between all matter, consciousness, and spirit.

The Quantum Field also forms the link to wholeness, between the plants, animals and their environment so we see everything as a whole, in the Oneness of Life.

The flow of energy from the sun in this subtle form seems to be energizing the field of electromagnetic forces around the body the Human Aura. As this field of Love grows, it creates the power to attract into your life what you desire. It brings healing and wholeness to your body, so you feel charged up and full of life.

The flow of consciousness into matter has been going on for millennia but it is only now in human history that this conscious awareness is reaching these more subtle levels. We are now starting to think within the light. This is the ultimate refinement of consciousness and what computer designers have been trying to do for years.

As this happens, Human Consciousness flows naturally into Oneness; the light connects all things in your environment with you, in this electromagnetic world we live in.

Message channelled by George E. Lockett -- HealerGeorge(C) Copyright 2007, All Rights Reserved. Tel: +44 (0)1286 882701 George has recently published his new book, which contains many more articles and advice to bring Joy into your life. The book is titled: "A Journey into the Self -- the multi-dimensional nature of being human": HealerGeorge Web Site and New Book Description: What is this book going to do for YOU? For those who are seeking a complete energetic makeover, as you read it you will feel a stirring and awakening in the depths of your heart. For those who have questions about Shifts in Consciousness, Energy Balancing, and Healing within the body, you will find clear answers. Ask a question of HealerGeorge at: Ask HealerGeorge

Strategies for Surviving the Pit of Life

Does it seem as if life has presented you with situations where you have been knocked down and knocked around? Are you facing a barrage of obstacles, challenges, issues, and problems? Do you feel as if youve been knocked into a pit?

I define the pit as a state of being in which you feel helpless, hopeless and unable to succeed. Your energy is low, your actions are stagnant, and your faith is weak. Overall, you lack the ability to motivate yourself to take action.

I have found that once you fall in the pit, it is sometimes hard to come out. You struggle and cant get a grip. You slip, you slide, you fall flat on your face. Worse yet, you feel as if you cant see, and there seems to be no one around to help.

What I have come to realize, however, is that self-motivation is one of the most crucial resources to surviving the challenges of life. Self-motivation is when you can see beyond your current situation in order to move yourself into action.

Even though we all have self-motivation as a tool to increase our chances of avoiding lifes pitfalls, I have observed that there are those of us that find it extremely hard to remain motivated in living life daily. And worse yet, Ive realized that there are some who completely rely upon other people to motivate them.

No matter what life has tricked you into believing about yourself, understand that you must motivate yourself! When you are knocked down by the challenges of life, know that you are your greatest resource to getting back up again!

Here are five (5) strategies that I developed which will help you to remain motivated to climb out your pit:

Put on your Rhinestone Combat Boots: Put your foot down, take a stand and declare, Enough is enough! Feel good about yourself as you wear the knowledge, experiences, wisdom, and faith that will help you to fight battles, climb over challenges, and kick butt.

Focus on the Light: You must realize that your success depends on you believing in yourself and pushing beyond what you see. You must learn to focus on what lies ahead (i.e. job promotion, SBA loan, keys to your new home) and not dwell on what has passed (i.e. layoff, bankruptcy, divorce).

Grasp Again: Learn that when you slip in grasping for something that you want, that break gives you a chance to take a breath, regain your strength, and renew your focus, allowing you to see the best way to grasp again. As my favorite singer, Aaliyah, once sang, if at first you dont succeed, dust yourself off and try again, you can dust it off and try again, try again. Meaning, keep grasping until you get a firm hold and can overcome your obstacles.

Have a Flashback Party: Get together with a group of your closest friends. Allow those who know you well to shed light on the areas where you are great. You will gain strength as the memories reveal your achievements, successes, and moments of fearlessness. The flashback party will add to your self-confidence and boost your self-esteem and give you the energy to fight the darkness.

Sing a Tune: Singing a tune of positive words will uplift, encourage and motivate you to put forth your best effort to overcome the challenges of your life. Quotes, words of praise, affirmations, and scriptures are examples of positive tunes that you must play in your mind over and over again as you experience your darkest moments.

Success in life does require you to receive guidance, direction and assistance from others. Yet, the vital key to remaining out of and moving beyond the pit requires that you serve as the motivating force of your own life. When you Put on your Rhinestone Combat Boots, Focus on the Light, Grasp Again, Have a Flashback Party, and Sing a Tune, your actions will develop you into a capable individual who is wise and strong enough to overcome the challenges life throws your way.

Copyright @ 2007 SSANEE, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Cassandra Lee is a self-development expert that conducts seminars, moderates panels, facilitates workshops, presents speeches, and writes resources that provides instructions on personal growth and professional success. She is founder, president and chief executive officer of SSANEE Incorporated, an educational consulting firm in Chicago, IL, where she provides interactive, skill-building seminars and keynotes to associations, colleges, corporations, clubs, organizations, social service agencies, and universities nationwide. She is featured in Whos Who in Black Chicago, the Inaugural Edition and is the author of the audio CD D.I.V.A.BITS: 24 Enlightening Tips to Conquer Communication Skills and co-author of the books Survival Skills for the African-American Woman and The Young Womans Guide for Personal Success. To receive professional development strategies FREE each month, sign-up for her newsletter, Dialog Digest at http://www.ssanee.com

Goal Setting Activities You Must Follow

Do you want to buy a castle? Do you want to play basketball with Michael Jordan? Do you want to have dinner with Bill Gates? Do you want to be a millionaire? Do you want to visit the world's most exotic place? Well, as you already know, with the help of goal setting, it is possible for you to achieve all your dreams.

In fact, goal setting can be divided into 3 phases; they are, the formation phase, the setting phase and the action phase. Without any of these phases, your goal setting activities will not be completed and you will never achieve what you want.

The first phase is the formation phase where ideas, visions or dreams come to you and you want to make them come true. With that means, you need to know exactly what you really want before you can set goal to achieve it. So find out what you really want to achieve in your life right now. Do you have any dreams? Do you have any visions? What do you want to achieve in the next 10 years? Who are you going to be in the next 5 years?

Next comes the setting phase, this is where you set your goals. Goal setting is not as complicated as you think. All you need to do is to grab a pen and write down your goals on a piece of paper. Remember, you need to be as specific as possible and don't forget to write down the deadline for each of your goal. After that, paste that paper on somewhere you can see often. This will constantly remind you about your goals.

The final phase is where after you have set your goals; you need to take action to make your goals come true, and hence, the action phase. Nothing is going to happen if you are not taking any action. Goal setting is not a magic wand; it is not like after you have written down your goals and they will come true automatically. You need to consistent action that will lead you toward your goals.

These are the 3 phases of goal setting activities. By combining these 3 phases together, you will be able to achieve your goals, guaranteed. Remember, success is about getting things done. First find out what you want, set goals and develop plan to achieve them, and then take massive and consistent action everyday.

If you are serious in achieving what you really want in your life, goal setting is the right tool for you. I'm going to share with you the 3 phases of Goal Setting Activities, you are about to discover the real and guaranteed strategies how to achieve your goals

For more information about Goal Setting Activities, please visit: http://www.Goal-Setting-Activities.com

Create What you Really Want

Do you have a dream? Or do you just have a nagging feeling that life could better?

Many of us have a life that we know is not what we really want, but perhaps weve become resigned to it, believing that this is all there is for me or its OK, really or even, its too late to change anyway.

The reason for this resignation is usually because of fear. It can be scary to look at what you REALLY want perhaps, once you found it, youd find it was out of your reach and how do you live with that? Perhaps youd find youd have to make difficult sacrifices. Or perhaps you feel you are just not good enough. Is this what you have been told? If so, it was you who chose to believe it. You can also choose to believe otherwise. Most of us have been stopped by fear, lack of confidence, past experience, until we are so hemmed in by our lack of belief, that we accept a life of mediocrity and we decide that there is nothing that we are passionate about, this life is OK for me it will do.

My belief is that everyone everyone has something they are passionate about and getting in touch with that can be an incredibly moving and inspiring experience.

I also believe that EVERYONE can achieve the thing they are passionate about. Whatever it is whether its gardening, climbing mountains, helping people the thing that you love doing most of all is an expression of who you are and that is out there for you.

How, then, do you find that thing THE thing that will bring happiness and fulfilment?

For a moment, forget everything you have been told, or you have told yourself about your inability to succeed. Imagine that there were no obstacles. Imagine that anything is possible.

Do you remember a time, or times, in your life when you were purely happy? Where time became non-existent and you were totally focused on what you were doing? You might have to look right back into your childhood it doesnt matter. It can be something really silly and trivial. Just have a look.

Then, look at what it was about that thing you were doing that made it so wonderful.

When I was little there were two things I really, really loved doing: reading, and climbing trees.

So, how do I transfer climbing trees into my adult life? I have no desire to become a tree surgeon!

Well what I loved about climbing trees was this: every tree was different and its own challenge; there was a definite goal: to get to the top of the tree; and, I could be totally independent no-one could help, I had to do it myself.

Look at these things as a metaphor for life and you can see that I love variety and challenge, I like to be aiming towards something and I love to work for myself. Put this together with what I like about reading: the fascinating characters and the way they develop and you can begin to see why I eventually became a life coach and a writer!

It may not be obvious at first, but if you work on this technique, you may open yourself to the possibilities around you that call to who you are.

And when you have found the thing that you are truly passionate about, what are you going to do to make it happen?

You are going to look all those restricting thoughts that now come to mind those voices in your head that are telling you youre too old, too young, too stupid, not good enough, not brave enough, not clever enough etc, etc - and you are going to put them aside. They are not real they are just thoughts that you have chosen to believe. Then you are going to choose some empowering thoughts you are going to choose to believe in yourself, and you are going to start telling yourself that you are good enough, that you can make it happen. Then you are going to take the first steps towards your goal.

If this seems too difficult at first, you will find it beneficial to work with a coach, who will encourage you every step of the way, and remind you, when things get hard, that anything is possible, that you have the power to make it happen. Your coach will set goals with you, and build your confidence so that your belief in yourself will eventually create the life you are passionate about.

Ros Bott BA (Hons) FAETC is a trained life coach, writer and trainer. She specialises in Career and Confidence coaching, and is passionate about helping people to express their true selves in life. For more details: http://rosbott.com

Is Workplace Conflict Destructive or Creative?

Whenever you work with people, conflict is inevitable. The tension created by daily conflict either results in wasted time, decreased productivity, and poor decisions or the sort of internal competition that pushes each individual to do their best, if for no other reason that convince their coworkers that they can do it.

This inevitable conflict is either destructive or creative. The destructive conflict is toxic to relationships and hurts people and organizations and this is the one that needs managing. In my experience creative conflict seems to be cultural in nature. It's how the people themselves react and address each other and the situations they face together.

If you've ever seen "American Chopper" on the Discovery Channel you know what I mean by creative conflict. There is a lot of yelling going on. These guys are not shy about sharing their opinions when they disagree with one another. If you were a stranger who walked into their shop you might think WWIII had broken out.

In fact, that is how they relate to one another - there is no ambiguity, they tell it like it is in the moment. Imagine how much more they accomplish because they use the tension to air their different opinions, right now - and then get on with it. It's possible that this is just a TV show and these guys have nice quiet meetings in the board room, listening to various committee reports, before the speak up, but that's not likely. I bet they are who we see them as being.

In three decades working with family businesses I have seen dozens and dozens of companies who harness conflict creatively, and in so doing get the most out of everyone as well as optimum results overall. They don't waste time on what's not working just because it was the bosses idea. They stop what they're doing and point out the other person's mistake then show them how to fix it. Nothing and no one or their opinion is sacred - it's all about getting the job done.

Sadly I have seen experts try to get them to change their behavior, be more polite to one another and offer more politically correct input in an ever more constructive manner. In other words they (the experts) want other people to be more like them.

So instead of helping their clients manage the destructive conflict that exists, they are offering suggestions on how to fix what isn't broken.

I am talking about the conflict that distracts employees and managers from otherwise productive use of their time. Studies reveal that up to 30% of a typical managers time is spent dealing with conflict. And that 42 percent of their time is spent reaching agreements with others when conflicts occur.

Sometimes destructive conflict is simply because the people don't like each other. In the universe of family owned companies sometimes brothers, sisters, cousins, and in-laws are thrown together in ways none of them like. Conflict is the only way they have of displaying the frustration they feel about the situation they're in.

It is no wonder that an estimated 65% of performance problems result from strained relationships like these. Between employees who are not happy with each other - not from deficits in their training, skill, or motivation.

The most common way that destructive conflict shows up is about "how" a certain task should be accomplished. I met a farmer once whose son (age 50) refused to do things the way he wanted them done. He sited an example by driving me on the back of his four wheeler (you could not get there any other way) to a field that illustrated his point.

He and his father before him had always plowed the field north to south - his son was plowing it east to west. I am not making this up. It didn't have anything to do with soil erosion, conservation, or the environment - he was doing it this way against his dad's wishes, just to get his goat. And it was working.

I bet you can think of things at your company that are being done a certain way because that's the way they've always been done. And if you're the one who wants to change history, good luck!

Destructive conflict about how things are being done, what things are being done, and whether or not a certain thing should even be done can paralyze the organization.

Wasted time arguing about things that don't matter, an unwillingness to consider another person's point of view based on their experience, and the blame game when the results are in all cry out for a self-help process you can use to manage your differences so that all conflict is creative.

The end result of a successful self-help mediation process is that you (as a group) turn together and focus on the challenge or opportunity you all face. You see the problem as the stumbling block and not your coworker.

Self-help mediation tools allow two individuals the opportunity to discuss their assumptions about the other person's motives. In many conflicts the simple process of testing these assumptions face to face using active listening skills will resolve the issue entirely, because the parties realize the conflict is simply a misunderstanding.

Self-help mediation tools pave the way for more effective decision making. Obviously decisions made under conditions of conflict are going to be inferior to decisions made when cooperation prevails. If ongoing conflict (even a low grade resistance to cooperation) is present between people who share decision-making authority, the resulting decisions are likely to be flawed by the power struggles between those people.

As business owners we know that good decisions must be based on an optimum quality and quantity of objective information. So when information is withheld or distorted by those we are depending on to provide it, the decision cannot be the best one possible.

There is now doubt, workplace conflict resolution strategies - especially those that will allow you to do it yourself - will save you money, time, energy, and enhance your workplace by helping you make better decisions, retain your best employees, and design a future course for the business everyone will actively support!

Wayne Messick's web site http://www.iBizResources.com has many additional conflict resolution articles and strategic planning resources to help you grow your business. If you are a small business advisor and want to maximize your professional and financial potential, here are the resources we are using to systematically multiply our new business, our revenues, and our client's satisfaction.